When you are expecting a child, it is like planning a long-awaited trip to Spain. Full of joyful anticipation, you stock up on brochures and books about this Mediterranean vacation paradise. You seek advice from a travel agency, leaf through picture books, and read enthusiastic reviews online from vacationers who have already been there…
You’re looking forward to flamenco and paella, swimming and sunbathing on the beaches of the Costa Brava. You can already see yourself exploring the breathtaking landscapes of the Pyrenees and the Sierra Nevada. You imagine yourself strolling through the picturesque old towns of Toledo, Cordoba, and Seville. You can already see yourself standing in the magnificent Sagrada Familia in Barcelona, in the Palacio Real in Madrid, in the Alhambra in Granada, in the bullring and the Alcazar in Valencia. Maybe you’ll even take a language course to learn a few words of Spanish.
After months of eager anticipation, the long-awaited day finally arrives. You pack your bags, drive to the airport, check in, and the plane takes off.
A few hours later, the plane lands. Over the loudspeaker, you hear the pilot’s friendly voice: “Welcome to Iceland!”
You are stunned. Upset, you jump up and complain to the flight attendants: “Iceland? Excuse me? I booked a trip to Spain! I’ve dreamed of traveling to Spain my whole life!”
But the flight schedule has been changed. You have now landed in Iceland, where you have to disembark and stay. There is no return flight.
How big is this disaster really? You have by no means been taken to a dirty country plagued by war, epidemics, and famine. It’s just different from Spain—not as spectacular, not as popular.
What you need now are new books and travel brochures. You have to learn a new language. And you meet other people you would never have met in Spain.
But after spending some time in this place and recovering from your initial shock, you start to look around. And you discover and experience that Iceland has magnificent, largely untouched landscapes to offer. You enjoy breathtaking waterfalls and boat trips along picturesque fjords, and marvel at the midnight sun in June. You explore Europe’s largest and most impressive glacier on a snowmobile. You are inspired by the art and culture scene in Reykjavik; soon, you will discover your new favorite restaurant where you can feast on the most delicious seafood. You will make friends with fellow travelers who have also found their way to Iceland. And gradually your initial horror will subside, your bitterness will begin to fade.
Meanwhile, everyone you know from your former life is still busy coming from or going to Spain. You hear them raving about it, and you will never quite stop envying them. For the rest of your life, you will say to yourself, “Oh yes, Spain! That’s where I had planned to travel too! But things turned out quite differently!” Your pain about this will never completely go away, because the loss of a lifelong dream weighs heavily.
But if you spend the rest of your life mourning the lost dream of traveling to Spain, you will never be free inside to enjoy the special and wonderful aspects of Iceland.
This story is taken from Harald Wiesendanger’s book: Auswege – Kranken anders helfen (Ways Out – Helping Sick People Differently) (2015). It is based on “The Trip to Holland,” a text by US writer Emily Kingsley, who wrote for the television series “Sesame Street” for decades starting in 1970. In 1974, Kingsley gave birth to her son Jason, who had trisomy 21, or Down syndrome (“Mongolism”). She has since processed this traumatic experience in numerous books and articles.